Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Unconditional love.........

“Unconditional Love”…. Do you know the meaning of unconditional love???? It is loving someone in spite of all his/her flaws and faults, without expecting anything from that person in return. Now, u will say that this is madness. Yes, I wanted to hear this from you. Yes, of course, it is madness. Love is madness. Don’t you accept that? True love is nothing but madness, in which one loses the capability to see, hear or understand. That’s why, it is said that love is blind. Am I right? All of us say that the best example of selfless and unconditional love is that of a mother. Yes, let’s take this example. Does a mother not love her children with their flaws and faults? Does a mother leave her child alone when her child hurts her? Does a mother not love her child even if her child doesn’t take care of her? No, never…. A mother always blesses her child, regardless of the behaviour shown by the child to her. Never can a word of curse come out of a mother’s heart for her child. This is real love…Unconditional and selfless. All of us accept that. Then, when we claim about our unconditional love for others, how we forget the extent of love at which it becomes unconditional.
                 Let me tell you a story.
There was an officer who lived with his family. His family included his wife and his old mother. They used to have late night parties at their home which always interfered with his mother’s sleep. His mother was a typical village woman who had brought up her only son with much difficulty after her husband’s death. She was very weak and used a walking stick. She could not even stand properly. She didn’t know English. He never cared for his old mother and always disrespected her. He thought her to be some sort of waste material. One day, he shifted all her clothes and bed to the store room at the back side of the house and asked her to sleep there. The old woman missed her husband a lot at this stage and wept throughout the day.
                  She recalled those days when she and her husband had made this house with utmost care. She used to very happy those days to see her long cherished dream of making a house come true. She herself had persuaded her husband to construct the store room at the backside because she was afraid of darkness and didn’t want the dark store room to be a part of their beautiful house. Their son was only 2 years at that time. As soon as the house was completed, his husband died of a heart stroke. Sometimes, more happiness also turns out to be dangerous.
                  Finally, she came back to the present and found that she had no other option but to shift to the store room. Day by day, she was becoming weaker and still, she had to facer a lot of his son’s anger. One day, the officer came home happily and said his wife to prepare superb dinner that day, as the client from abroad was coming to their house for dinner with his family. They didn’t want any flaw in their hosting and thus, warned the old mother not to come out of the store room at night. They gave food to the old woman very early and sent her to sleep. The client came with his wife at about 8:30 pm. Everything went on very smoothly. They finished their dinner, had drinks and then, all of them started chatting in the living room. The client was very happy and satisfied with the officer. On the other hand, the old woman was not able to sleep. Each time she closed her eyes, she saw her husband’s face and tears streamed down her eyes. Then, she felt her husband wiping her tears and giving her the strength to live. Suddenly, she felt like going to the toilet. She tried to stop herself a lot but, she was weak and could not wait for long. The way to the toilet was through the living room. As she walked slowly, the client spotted her. When she returned from the toilet, she stopped her and asked her to sit among them. The old woman was damn scared and could not say a single word. She was afraid that she had spoiled her son’s deal. The client talked to her very softly and requested her to sing a regional song. Now, she her tongue was absolutely stuck. She couldn’t utter a word. Now, her son asked her to sing it. Very slowly she started and went on with a trembling voice. Upon finishing, the client gave her a loud applause. She got even more frightened and walked to her store room. While returning, the client saw a curtain knitted by hand which was very beautiful and gave a classic touch to the room. He asked the officer if he can get him a similar piece. The officer was surprised and said that this curtain was knit by his mother. He even said that he will ask his mother to knit one for him. The client became very happy.
             The next day, the officer started cajoling his mother to knit a curtain for his client. The old woman said that her eyesight had become very weak and she is not able to ‘knit’ anything. “Don’t you want your son to be happy and at a better position? If you want so, then please do this”, said the officer. Finally, the old woman thought of her love for her son and the help that she could do to make her son happier. At last, she took the needle and started knitting.

           I had come across this story somewhere in my childhood. I just said you the story so that you can understand the meaning of unconditional love. The old woman knew that she should not have done that, but her heart said her to go with the unconditional love. She wanted to give her love unconditionally to her son, without expecting anything from him. She did it. That’s the love of a mother. Very few of us are lucky enough to find this kind of love in any place other than that from a mother.
          If you are not bored, I would like to bore you a little bit more with another true story.
            There was a couple called Mohan and Neeti. They had an arranged marriage and from the day, Mohan saw Neeti, it was love at first sight for him. He could not think of anything else except her. In case of Neeti, it was just a compromised arranged marriage for her. She was brought up in a nuclear family whereas Mohan was from a joint family and had two younger brothers with him. Neeti wanted to secure her future whereas Mohan believed in living in the present.  They were poles apart from each other. Mohan was a simple type of guy whereas Neeti had a friend circle since her childhood. From many incidents that she saw, she had learnt it very well that guys must always be kept within domination. Otherwise, they can dominate a girl anytime and nothing would be left in her hands. From the first day itself, she started dominated her husband, who being a simple person, did whatever she said. A simple heart in love suffers the most. He knew  that whatever she made him to do was wrong but, he was bound in love. When one loves someone unconditionally, he can see nothing in this world except his love. This type of love is most craved for and is most dangerous. He didn’t want to be away from his family, but Neeti wanted that. He did it for him. His mother loved him like anything but, he had to go with Neeti. He wanted to give enormous amount of love to Neeti and fill Neeti’s heart with love too. He tried his level best to do that. He didn’t want to lose his love and so, always gave way to Neeti. Neeti, on the other hand, took adavantage of his love. Time passed by, and Neeti gave birth to a sweet baby girl. Neeti wanted to save money as much as possible and this nature of hers could not be accepted by any of his family members. They could not accept that everyone is not the same. Some people like it the other way. There was clash in ideas and Neeti started abusing all the family members. She wanted her child’s future to be the best and was obsessed with this idea. She could not think of others at all and in this run, she became more and more selfish. Everything was changing except Mohan’s love for Neeti. After the birth of their daughter, he fell in love more with Neeti as she had given him this beautiful gift.
             At this point, I am confused. Is this unconditional love of Mohan for Neeti? Is this not madness? Mohan was bound by his heart. He was captivated in love. He had lost all will power except that to love his wife more and more. Dear Readers, please solve my confusion? Is this a form of unconditional love or not? Think deep and answer my question. Please leave your answers in comments. I am anxiously waiting for your answers. Yes, this is a true story.
                  I have also experienced unconditional love. I had a best friend who was my friend since I was 4 years old. I loved her a loooooot. After 12 years, both of us got admitted to a same college and stayed in the same place. Staying together tore us apart. She hurt me a lot of times while were in a hostel. When we came back home after completing our studies there, she stopped talking to me and broke our friendship. But, the most interesting part here is that I don’t even remember how she had hurt me those times. I really don’t remember what she did to me. I just remember that she had hurt me because I had cried many times in hostel due to her. But, how and why….just blankkkk…..my mind is blank for that. I still love her even after 3 years of her breaking our friendship. Still, she wanders in my dreams at night. Still, I hope of having her back someday. Still, I search for my faults in case, I did something. Is it not a form of unconditional love? Please reply.

2 comments:

  1. "Love" the most beautiful word in Life's dictionary. "Love" is the only ingredient to live life happily. I do not understand the different category of Love like TRUE LOVE , UNCONDITIONAL LOVE.

    For me Love is always Unconditional else it is not LOVE.

    And the stories u told and the confusion you pointed. I would say something here which I believe.

    Love always leads life. Love spreads Happiness. Love dissipates positive vibes across your circle.Love is sweet. It makes u feel good.

    In Love you may take the pain to give smile to others but you can not give pain to make happy others. In my words that is not Love.

    Ok, I will take clues from your example. You have mentioned Mother's love in the story. Mother took the pain to make her Son happy, that is you said unconditional Love. Perfectly ok. I would like all to notice here no one was hurt. Her mother able to do that in spite of her weak vision is because of the power of Love.If for any case the Son would have insisted her Mother hurt someone to make her SON happy, I would not have taken this as Love. Because Love never hurts anyone. If somebody gets hurts in the process that is not Love. People grow in Love. This is all positivity. There is no space for negative vibes neither for you nor your surroundings.On the contrary I would say if you are not able to grow in Love, then you are not in Love. If you do something for your partner knowing that you should not do, you make her happy momentarily. That's not going to stay.Love is eternal.

    Lets fall in love to rise in Life.

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  2. Beautifully written!! Kudos!!! ok, I agree love has to be unconditional, but I believe there are different types of love. Love cannot be the same for all, motherly love is different, fatherly love is different, husband and wife's love is different, friendly love is different. You can never have a common formula for all kind of loves..
    It’s the expectations level which differs depending on the kind of love we talk about. While giving birth to a child a mother never thinks that the baby will grow big and secure her future…at least I don’t think so.. Similarly when you are in a relation there are expectations, those are not expectations from your better half but life itself… We want a person in life who is willing to take my pain and my happiness, at the same time even the other person expects the same. However, at times we become so obsessed with our self, and we put ourselves ahead of everything and we conclude that what ” I” think or feel is right so I need to put this point across to the other person and, expect the other person to understand and obey, and when that does not happen..(You know what happens then :))
    Anyways, my understanding towards healthy love and relationship is, we will have to live our lives by our self and this journey is so long that we cannot reach the finish line without company, and this company is given by our better halves, they both should choose their own path use the other person as support rather than asking the other person to carry them on their shoulder. This is what Neeti had done she asked Mohan to carry her on his shoulder, and he choose to do it out of fear rather than love. You may ask what fear. but trust me fear of losing some one, fear of being lonely are good enough for a person to sacrifice everything and stick around a person and call it love….

    In regards to your friend, have you ever noticed that we are best friends when we are small and when we grow up we don’t have the same friendship, the reason for that is while growing we learn about ego, jealousy, selfishness all these things creeps in and once they come in between two people you know how it end..Specially between two girls ha-ha it’s a nuclear fusion which keeps growing.. But if you really want to get your childhood friend back then go ahead and speak to her say sorry for no reason… I m sure even she is going through what you are going through…

    Indeed I can go on forever and talk...But I don’t want to take off the entire server space available for your blog… 

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